Borders Buddies Case Study – “My life in the mills”

“I was just feeling a bit fed up, I didn’t see many people and all I had was my garden”.

That sums up how J was feeling 6 months ago when the NHS Wellbeing Adviser told her about Borders Buddies. At first J was sceptical, but she thought she might as well give it a try. She was adamant that she did not want to attend the group sessions, but that she might want to have someone to meet up with for chats and coffees. Her journey took some unexpected twists and turns, but she is sure of one thing: “Borders Buddies has helped me to get connected again, I feel I have a different outlook on life”. Here is J’s story:

“I had a hard childhood with various events and circumstances meaning I left school early to work in the mills. It was just me and my mum and we both worked hard. As well as working in the mills for 32 years I also worked as a wedding photographer. Through this I met many famous people, including the late Queen! I loved horses and used to ride in all the Common Ridings. This was my past life; when I was put in touch with Borders Buddies I was living alone, feeling a bit fed up because I wasn’t seeing many people and also because I was waiting for a hospital appointment for ongoing health issues.

Although it took a while to find me a ‘Buddy’, I met with Outside the Box staff several times and told them my story. It happened that at that time there was a Mills Heritage project happening locally, and I was persuaded to tell my story of life in the mills to them. At first I thought nobody would want to listen, but I was wrong! My tale was recorded for the Mills exhibition at the local museum, and I also donated some photos of the machinery I had taken. When I attended the opening of the exhibition, so many people were asking me about the cloth and the machines. This hasn’t stopped – people are now stopping me in the street to ask me about it all, because they have heard I know so much. When I went back to the exhibition the other week, the museum staff asked me for more information – they didn’t know about the government tartans and other things. I was even asked to explain to some Finnish visitors (distant relatives) and my story was translated into Finnish! I feel proud that people are stopping me in the street – or even on the local bus – to ask me all about it! Suddenly people want to know me and want to hear my story! The icing on the cake was last week when I heard that my audio clip is going to be played on ITV Border – I was so delighted and proud to hear this!

By chance the person recording the archive is also a keen photographer, he’s become my sort of ‘camera Buddy’. We have had good chats about old cameras and photography, and showed each other our camera collections. He has also supported me to get batteries and a film for my old camera, and persuaded me to get out and start taking photos again! This means a lot to me – there were lots of emotions tied up with my photography career, but thanks to this support I feel I can get out with the camera once again.

Last but not least, I have actually got a Buddy now. We have met up a few times and we get on really well. She has her own things going on in her life but it’s always good to share, so I feel that we are supporting one another. It’s amazing how a good chat and a cheese scone can make you feel better about everything! I find now I’m not dwelling so much on my health issues but enjoying the days and the connections I have in the community.

It’s amazing that Borders Buddies has done all this for me, and really made me a different person!”

 

 

Borders Buddies is an Outside the Box project fully funded by the National Lottery and there is no cost for anyone looking for Buddy support.